Mornings are hectic in Leckieville. Do you ever have those moments when you say something out loud in the "hussle and bussle" of things and then realize you just had a "light bulb" moment?
I have Channer in the shower and moving like a slug. Jenna can't figure out what to wear because looking her best is what makes her day. While I am standing over a hot steamy shower, helping Channer wash his hair, I hear Jenna crying. She is my emotional child (my mom always said that I would get payback one day for all the tears I shed as a child) so I just ignored her whimpering (assuming it was over a pair of jeans or a skirt). After all, Channer needed his hair washed and we were going to be late to school, once again.
I go into Jenna's room to assist her and by this time she had layed down on the bed and given up on getting dressed for school. I asked "What is wrong dear"? She replied "I hurt my toe on the ladder"! She was dramatically boo-hooing all over the place. I stood her up, put both arms around her, hugged her tightly and said "Jenna, it will be ok. Let's get dressed and keep going". She looked up and told me how much it hurt and it wasn't possible to get dressed at this point and that her day had been ruined. All before 7AM. As precious minutes were flying by, I found myself getting frustrated and firmly said "Jenna, just because you hurt your toe doesn't mean that life stops! We have to keep going!".............WOW! What advice did I just throw at my daughter? We have to keep going? It's not ok to fall down on the bed and say that I give up? Is that not the pot calling the kettle black???
Yesterday, I escaped from reality for about 2 minutes in the make-up isle of Walgreens because I am ready to throw in the towel. I am falling apart because Channer wasn't feeling well and I didn't know why. I had dropped him off at school but got a call from the CF clinic at MUSC that I needed to bring him in right away. He was hypoglycemic. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what. I reach out to my friends immediately on Facebook. This is what I call therapy on the fast track. I obviously can't find time in my days to see a counselor and fear that he/she may truly deem my a lunatic so the next best thing are my friends at my fingertips. My 2 minutes were up and it was time to purchase the tissue and make-up so that I could throw myself together in the car and no one would have to know that I, me, Carolyn Leckie, just lost my marbles in front of several strangers in my very small town.
In my world of what we call Leckieville, there is no real time to grieve, no real time to be sad. I tell my friends that I wish I could just schedule my meltdowns so they fit in my day. Instead, when I have 2 minutes in Walgreens, I seize the opportunity. Point being, "Just because you hurt your toe doesn't mean that life stops! We have to keep going!"
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